Making a Difference: Chapter 1

 HUMOUR: the saviour of most difficult situations

Rule 1    Always use humour when the going gets tough. Remember the old saying: When the going gets tough, the tough get funny.

Rule 2    Always use humour when the Year 9 student you have confronted is about to smash a Year 7 kid's face in, even if he tells you that you can't tell him what to do and to "fuck off!" This will be sure to diffuse the situation and you will come out of it looking better than ever.

Rule 3    Never use humour if you're not a natural comedian. I know this applies to many teachers, but there you are. Things could get ugly. But, then again, things could get very funny indeed.

Rule 4    As I said, remember that most teachers think they're funny when in reality, they're not. Not only that, they think that "dad jokes" are the way to go because they've stood the test of time. This is faulty thinking because most dads don't see life as funny. They spend most of the time agonising over the fact that their sons aren't real men (or are too real for their own good) and their teenage daughters should stop growing up so fast. The funniest things to them are related to Donald Trump's hair, four-year-olds trying to explain how marriage works, playing Round the World with drunk mates. And, perhaps, realising that it's not really a man's world!

Rule 5    Forgot this one. I think it's about not trying to be funny at Parent/Teacher Interviews.

Rule 6    When embroiled in a tense situation, use dark humour to brighten the mood. This gives a so-called 'mental break' to all participants. But a word of caution. Be sure to choose your moments carefully (and your participants). It is not advisable to laugh at a student's mistake: they're liable to report this event at home. On the upside, it could improve the parent's engagement with the school and that has to be a good thing.

Rule 7    A smile is often the best medicine. But be careful. It can give the receiver the impression that you are on to something funny and that they have been left out. You may even be asked: "What's the joke?" The only drawback here is that you actually have to have a joke ready or the joke will be on you.

Rule 8    Be sure to recognise the humour others use. This is even more important if the humour is directed at you.

Like the Ten Commandments, usually there are lists of ten items with these things but I've limited it to eight because our world is already full of rules that don't make sense. I thought I'd spare you the frustration. And "8" is really only infinity turned on its head, so what's it matter?