Surely suffering is real ...

The word 'suffer' has three meanings.

1. to suffer, v.   to feel pain; to experience hardship or discomfort
2. to suffer, v.   to experience or show the effects of something bad or unpleasant
3. to suffer, v.   to become or appear worse in quality

I've been watching a documentary series on SBS television called Alone. Viewers are taken through the experiences of ten people who are left in a remote location with only basic survival materials and no human contact besides a periodic health check. Their aim is to stay in the wilderness - in this case Vancouver Island, but also Patagonia, Mongolia and the Arctic - and outlast the other nine to win $500,000. I have found it sometimes riveting and always instructive.

All three definitions of "suffer" are on display in this doco. As I watched, I began to think about what similarities there might be between the isolation experience of the series and the lockdown experience that the arrival of covid-19 brought on us. 

While the contestants chose to be marooned in a harsh environment with a limited range of survival equipment and we had no choice about going into isolation, the effects on the human organism appear to be very similar. I tried to make a list of the things I observed while watching Alone.

• Every contestant had to deal with unexpected events like the fish supply drying up or losing a flint.
• The pull of family was always a constant brain drain.
• Cockiness often lead to mistakes and occasionally resulted in having to "tap out".
• Physical suffering like severe hunger, cramps, food poisoning, hypothermia was a catalyst for self-examination, developing resilience, learning about the nature of uncertainty and the possibility for deep-seated change.
• A range of non-physical experiences brought catharsis, paranoia, instability or dramatic inner growth. These experiences included fear of failure, fear of letting others down, recognition of weakness, loss of clarity, a deep lack of understanding about why things were happening, fear of change and the consequences of inaction.
• Almost all of the participants came to a place where they saw themselves living an in-between existence, not knowing if they should (or could) go on and what that might bring, or falling back on the life they knew and felt safe living.
• Those who tried to meet the natural environment as they found it were more successful in living in it than those who tried to tame it, especially as their time in the wilderness became extended.
• The longer they stayed, the less meaningful winning the half-a-million dollars became.
• Many participants found it very difficult to remain emotionless when they killed for their food.
• Participants often expressed floods of joy and exaltation when they achieved the simplest things like catching a fish, trapping a rabbit or making a tool that actually worked.
• As far as I observed, all the participants returned to their families and regular lives having experienced a seismic shift in how they saw their existence in this world.

I believe that suffering is at the root of growth. I believe that is is even worthy to seek to suffer, not of its own accord but because of its presence in the choices we make. Our world tells us that it is worthwhile to try to end all suffering. I believe that this is a dangerous mind-set. As with the participants in Alone, if I actively try to avoid suffering, I will never truly experience my life.

Of course, not all suffering is good or life-giving, but all suffering has a purpose, much of it beyond our knowing. Some people think that Buddhists believe that desire is at the root of all suffering and if we could only banish desire, suffering would be a thing of the past.

This makes sense to me because desire is directed towards the future, which does not exist, so we are only creating an illusion. The more we long for something, the less likely we are to attain it because we strengthen the illusion. 

In Alone many participants suffered because they did not accept what was happening. During the covid isolation, people suffered when they didn't accept the reality of what was happening and created "loops of longing" which intensified and hardened, creating even more suffering and anguish.

I have to stop longing and allow the present to return to my day and that involves both suffering and exaltation.