You've got to be kneeling!

And we pray to our Lord,

Who, we know, is American

He reigns from on high

He speaks to us through middlemen

And he shepherds his flock

We sing out and we praise His name

He supports us in war

He presides over football games

And the right will prevail

All our troubles shall be resolved

We hold faith above all

Unless there's money or sex involved.

...

Frail grasp on the big picture

All waiting for that miracle elixir

Frail grasp on the big picture

I don't wonder anymore.

...

Heaven help us. 

Frail Grasp On the Big Picture from "Long Road Out Of Eden" - The Eagles, Writer(s): Don Henley, Glenn Lewis Frey, Steuart Smith

These words from The Eagles' 2007 studio album track Frail Grasp on the Big Picture always set me to thinking about prayer. A thread of cynicism runs through the lyrics but this belies the desire there for a more real relationship with our every-day world.

What is prayer and why do billions of people do it?

For many years, I was a pray-er. I believed in it fervently. God was always listening, no matter what I asked Him for, thanked Him for, congratulated Him for or attacked Him for. He was God. He could do it all, even when He didn't. And when He didn't, I knew there must be a reason because God worked in mysterious ways so I didn't have to understand it. He was in control so I didn't really have to worry. Nevertheless, I still prayed like hell and continued never getting what I prayed for.

Maybe I was praying for the wrong things because I really didn't know what I wanted in those days; or maybe God was actually giving me what I was asking for without me knowing, but then that would be cruel and God isn't cruel.

As a member of a Religious Order, I partook in all sorts of prayer, morning, evening and night and sometimes afternoon. I studied it, read about it, discussed it and did it. It was the one thing that was supposed to help me "get through it all." We got down on our knees and prayed. Couldn't do it lying or sitting. That wouldn't be kosher. Standing or walking was okay but ultimately, if you wanted a really good connection, you had to be kneeling.

Please, God?

Praise God.

Thank God.

Dear God,  no!

OMG!

A lot has changed since then. 

I won't kneel to a God whom I can't see. I won't kneel to a "Lord" who is supposed to be my brother. I won't ask for things for which I have the responsibility. I won't praise God for things that I have achieved with the help of family or friends. I won't attack God for things that have "gone wrong" in my life when, in truth, I have been responsible for them. And I won't ask Him to fix things up when He hasn't been responsible for stuffing them up in the first place.

Scenario #1

Daughter: "Dear God, please don't let mum die. Please don't take her now. Not yet."

God: "So, when would you like me to take her, because you know that I can do that at any time I want? Perhaps you're asking this because you'll find her death too hard to deal with."

Scenario #2

Chaplain to the Army: "We pray that you all will remain safe and come home again to your families."

God: "That's a bit of an ask. You know very well that some of them will be killed in this war, so your prayer is meaningless. Maybe do something about violence so you don't have to put me in this position."

Scenario #3

Bernie: "I have nowhere left to go. God, help me, please. I've tried everything and nothing's worked."

God: "Okay. That's it. I give up. I created you all to be able to fend for yourselves. It feels like a bit of a cop out for me to do this. Anyway, like it or lump it, here's the answer you want, but you won 't like it. I don't have one."

For me, prayer is the art of becoming self-aware. Pure and simple. In so doing, I become aware of my surroundings and the other human beings with whom I come into contact. This awareness, this being awake - as I think Eckart Tolle called it - leads me to take responsibility for myself. This, in turn leads inevitably to living in the present and to a more fulfilling life.

Today I see prayer as personal and not connected with what someone else reads out, or says, unless it leads me to awareness in that moment. I believe that conventional prayer, praying and prayers are an invention of humans to avoid living in the real world and taking responsibility for it and our own lives. It's not God's job (if He or She exists) to do that. The Universe breaths and lives despite our small arrogances. 

It responds to our actions, not our prayers.

I am attracted to the Quaker idea of prayer as a waiting and a noticing, a journey inward which leads to a journey outward.  For some Buddhists, prayer does not have an object but desire to let go. And Jesus regularly went off "by himself" to pray. 

Humans the world over will find ways to make connections to that life that exists outside us, in a realm that we instinctively want to touch, that many believe is where "God" lives. 

On the contrary, I believe that this realm already exists inside each of us, waiting for us to let go of the "walls" we have built around it. Prayer is the journey through that wall to unite the "heart-mind".

If we could throw away all the prayer books and ritual manuals, choose not to search "Prayer for the day" on Google, perhaps we might find that we already have the power to change our lives.